Building the Relationship of Self Starts with Viewing the “Selfie” Within

What keeps individuals from speaking up in a crowd? What keeps them from engaging in conversations? What keeps teachers from sharing their work with peers?  Some of it can be attributed to shyness or even introvert-ness. However, in my experience the ability to fully give one oneself in an open forum has been the result of having a lack of confidence.

Self confidence is the product of a great relationship with one’s own self. It is a result of being okay with the you that you are and are striving to be. I speak to so many individuals who are hesitant to join the “party of sharing” because they can’t get beyond thinking that they can’t. They head to PLC and rely on the contributions of other members of the staff. They attend trainings and sit…vehemently taking notes. They do this with unknowingly having the same tools and skills as those that they “look up to” to learn from.

Instead of teachers standing up…standing out…and sharing their own skills, they are masking their own abilities while building up those of others. This happens because they haven’t yet established the relationship of self.

The single most important relationship that we can build is the one with ourselves. The relationship of self is the one that fuels the confidence and spirit needed to forge relationships with others. How we think about ourselves can push or hinder our abilities to share the best of who we are. You won’t even recognize yourself at your best or worst without first acknowledging who you are at the deepest of levels. In other words, you can have the greatest skills on the planet but if you don’t believe in them first…you can’t possibly share them with anyone else.

As someone who used to struggle with self confidence, leaving my former self behind was as simple as accepting my own fabulousness. It’s not a matter of thinking that I am above or beyond anyone else. It’s about realizing that I am amazing in my own skin. I am smart and not because I know everything but because I acknowledge that I do not nor do I have to.

I don’t try to walk into a room and hide. Instead I walk into a room and join conversations. I share. I write. I OWN ME.

Here’s a test….

1. Take a selfie

2. Create a meme that describes what you feel about yourself.

3. Does your selfie (outer) match what you wrote (inner)?

I’ve seen people, myself included, place more effort on the quick selfie, the image that people see. What if more effort were given to make sure that the build up happens from the inside?

We wouldn’t have to beg teachers to get up and share. We wouldn’t have to convince them of their own abilities in and out of their classrooms. They would just…BE…

A beautiful representation of the best of themselves…

Repeat this phrase often…

(insert your name), you are amazing, brilliant and awesome. You are the best YOU that you can possibly be. You have something to share that the world needs…that YOU need. No one else can share what you do because what you do is a result of your own genius.


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