As a high school student, I remember being so insecure. In my mind, I wasn’t smart, pretty, athletic or thin enough. It didn’t help at all that I was often teased by my peers or at times second guessed by certain teachers. I was the poster child for insecurity and for a certain period, I not only questioned my worth but also my continued place in the world. I am lucky to be amongst the numbers of kids who managed to refrain from being “a completion”. If you are a counselor, you know exactly what I mean.
This morning, I reflected on how far I have come and I thought back to that insecure girl from long ago. She was the reason that I wanted to teach as I vowed that any child that I met would not feel what I felt. I knew that I wanted to provide not only a welcoming learning environment but plenty of love, understanding and empowerment…the things that were missing for me.
What is amazing about my experience into teaching is that as I aimed to empower others, I found it easier to empower one person that needed it most…me.
Of all of the things that I have accomplished, I am most excited that somewhere in the midst of continuing this journey of helping students and teachers “See” themselves, I also managed to finally rid myself of the shadow of insecurities that have lingered for years.
What I found along the way was that I was not the only person that carried such self-doubt. Many of us do and we attribute it to “perfectionism” but in reality, it’s not that at all. It is our internal need to be “validated” and our negligence to see that our self-validation matters much more than what others think.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
The other day I was trying to craft my bio and as a means of inspiration, I compared mine to others (big mistake). I allowed myself to believe that my accomplishments were nothing more than “bells and whistles”. I consulted with a friend who, in only the way that he could, reminded me to check myself because I was talking pure nonsense.
In a space where being “tech focused” can be seen as negative, I forgot for a second that my tech accomplishments are worth mentioning because this is a part of who I am, the change that I have influenced and a small yet significant piece of what I have to offer. I needed that reminder and I won’t make that self-doubting mistake again.
I’m not perfect by any means but I am the best ME that I can possibly be and with each passing day, I am getting stronger and stronger…because Growth Is Powerful.
You are not that insecure girl anymore. You are brilliant, beautiful and fantastic. For the record, that insecure girl was just as amazing as the woman that she is today. Own this and maybe…just maybe someone else may own it in themselves too.
You are more than enough and the world is brighter because of your presence in it.
In case you missed it, that insecure kid grew up and did this.