Two nights ago, I had a sinking feeling deep within. I can’t even explain it. I heard about the 5 murders in a nearby town, a place where I spent a nice chunk of my teenage years. I remember walking out of the house yesterday right before the news aired the story thinking that I needed to listen or look it up but I didn’t. I continued with my day. Yesterday, I even tweeted about being happy on the way home and the moment I ceremoniously pulled into my mother’s driveway, that changed.
I walked in to the house and immediately heard a familiar voice coming from the television. It was one of my dearest friends as he was being interviewed by news outlets. His youngest and only living brother, spent the night before murdering 5 people…including his own mother. My heart sunk because I knew them all. I felt his pain as well as the pain that he was masking. I don’t understand how he held himself together long enough to give interviews. I understand that the media needs the story and the brutal crimes of his brother needed an answer but he was still in shock…disbelief…and understandably so.
I thought of his wife, a teacher. I thought of his kids, all students in school. I imagine that their respective schools will pull together to support them as needed.
There are lives lost and changed forever. I still don’t understand it…I never will.
I have my own little brother, with his own set of issues. Sometimes as we pursue our own goals and dreams, it’s so easy to discount the dreams of those that are close when we don’t believe them. My brother, an aspiring musician, has always kept to his same dreams and at times was willing to give of himself entirely to make it happen. I didn’t “get” his “rap dreams” and the reality is that I didn’t need to “get” it. I needed to love and support him.
The simplest of gestures to him, were to just listen. That’s all that he wants.
I’m listening little brother.
I sent a text to my brother this morning reminding him that I loved him and that I support him. I thought that he was asleep and would not reply. We have this weird kind of relationship at times. The ongoing joke is that I have “street cred” only because I am related to him which is honestly the truth.
His text back…”Thank you”…spoke volumes
In life and death…in tragedy….there are lessons.
My dear friend has to deal with the sins and loss of his brother, the loss of his mother, his aunt and the other three individuals who lost their lives.
I get to hug my brother, mother, sister, children, nieces and nephews. Today, I will hold them much closer.